Morts Musings

I saw this article the other day, and although it’s a few weeks old, and made me think back to all the news articles, which were about this time last year, claiming that there would be a shortage of hire vehicles during the summer season due to the rental companies not being able to afford new vehicles for their fleets.

So, with the news that one of the UK’s largest van hire firms is set to renew 20,000 vans, a third of its fleet, in the expectation that the economy has/will pick up to an extent where the expense is justified, one has to feel that, assuming the money men at Northgate have done their jobs right, this has to be a good sign for the wider economy. Afterall, 20,000 vans are not going to come cheap and, even if the vehicles which are being replaced are so clapped out that they can’t be rented anymore, the implication has to be that the firm thinks it will need a capacity significantly greater than the 40,000 vans which it would have left.

A lot of Northgate’s business traditionally comes from businesses in construction and manufacturing, as opposed to private customers, so the firm’s commitment to renew their fleet strongly suggests that they have confidence in these sectors to flourish over the next twelve months, and if that’s the case then that would certainly be a good sign for the wider economy; particularly when one considers that the construction industry was one of the areas hit hardest by the recession, and the resulting crash in house prices.

Only time will tell whether or not it’s an astute move which will leave them well placed to profit from any recovery we see this year, but they’re by no means the only company to demonstrate optimism over the economy’s near future, and quite often the economy seems to function as much according to expectations as because of any real monetary factors, so, although my tendancy is to be wary, overall I’m thinking that the signs for recovery are looking hopeful.

It’s probably old news for many, but I’ve just found out about the Ig Noble Prizes, and as a geek, both flippant & scientific, I have to say I think it’s a bloody marvellous idea!

The prizes are awarded, each year, by Improbable Research an organisation whose purpose is to highlight scientific “research that makes people laugh and then think”. They operate year round, bringing news of off the wall science to the masses (well, ok, maybe just masses of geeks,) but their big event each year is the Ig Noble prizes, where prizes are given out in a range of categories, much like the real Noble prizes.

The 2010 prizes aren’t due to be awarded until the end of September, but some of the highlights from the 2009 roll of honour include:
VETERINARY MEDICINE PRIZE: to the researchers who discovered that named cows produce more milk than unnamed animals.
CHEMISTRY PRIZE: to the team who synthesised diamonds from tequilla. (I knew there had to be some use for the vile stuff!)
MEDICINE PRIZE: to the man who cracked the knuckles on just one of his hands every day, for 50 years! in order to demonstrate that the activity doesn’t cause arthritis.
LITERATURE PRIZE: to the Irish Police, for issuing over 50 speeding tickets to one “Prawo Jazdy”, a Polish phrase meaning “Driving License”.

My favourite from last years awards has to be the winner of the “Public Health Prize” though. Elena N. Bodnar and her team received the award for inventing a bra which can be converted into a gas mask, or to be exact, a pair of gas masks.

Really, I’m not making this up, SEE -even the BBC reported it!

I guess the idea is that most woman wear bras most of the time, which I suppose means that the “life saving” lingerie is always likely to be available, should the need arise, &, even better, each woman in the area of the attack would be able to offer a hand (or should that be cup?) to someone less well prepared.

My mother used to tell me to change my pants in case I got hit by a bus, which always struck me as odd since I imagine that, even if the pants were clean that morning, the no doubt frightening ordeal of being hit by a large, heavy vehicle would ensure that they were no longer clean by the time the paramedics arrived.
In the future are young woman going to have their mothers telling them to make sure their underwear is clean? Just in case there’s a gas attack and they’re forced to share half their bra with a stranger -imagine the embarrasment of having to offer a stranger a slightly soiled bra-come-gas mask! never mind that they may be more concerned by life threatening gas, or somewhat distracted by the spectacle of women around them frantically removing their tops!
In fact it might end up making gas attacks a somewhat salacious affair, which I suppose, in it’s own right, might not be a bad deterrent to the evil doers of this world, or at least those who hold strong views about women showing as little skin as possible.

I also wonder if this lingerie-lifeline is merely the tip of the iceberg, in future are we to be treated to a whole range of everyday items which double as emergency equipment? Maybe household furniture which can be quickly converted into a nuclear bunker? (scarily not so far from official govt advice, during the cold war era, as to how the public should protect themselves in the event of the 4 minute warning sounding.) Or perhaps M&S will start stocking little black party dresses which, in the event of a terror attack, quickly convert into a full NBC suit?

According to this article in the Telegraph, this year is the London Marathon’s 30th anniversary, and it’s looking pretty certain that the total cash raised for charity, by the event, is going to top the half billion pound mark.

It’s actually a bit of a fund raising phenonomen, Marathons in other parts of the world don’t have nearly such a strong philanthropic ethos as the London Marathon, which has had charitable status since before it’s first race was even run, & is now the world’s biggest annual one day charitable fund raising event. Last year’s participants raised £47.2 million, & it’s expected that the 2010 London Marathon’s 36,000 runners will raise at least as much, if not even more!

This year there are a whole host of charities helping to organise runners, and their fund raising, for example Oxfam have a London Marathon page which offers help, and related events, for runners, & even goes so far as to provide a post race massage for those who are raising cash for them.

Marathons, as a sporting event, are actually a relatively recent invention. When the modern Olympics were established in 1896 the organisers wanted an event which would tie the games with their classical Greek counterpart, &, with those first games being held in Athens, the idea of an event inspired by an important episode in ancient Athenian history obviously seemed the way to go.
The historical derivation comes from the Battle of Marathon, which was fought between the Athenians and the Persians, in 490 BC, during the first Persian invasion of Greece. The Athenians won the battle, and, in the process, also halted the Persian invasion, that much is historical fact.
However there is also a legend that, following the battle, the soldier Pheidippides was ordered to return to Athens, with news of the victory, as quickly as possible. The story tells that he ran all the way back to Athens, without a break, burst into the Athenian Assembly, and managed to gasp out news of the victory, before collapsing and dying.
There’s a fair degree of doubt over whether this part of the story is true. Various Greek writers give differing names for the runner, plus it’s also recorded that the Athenian army forced march back to the city, on the same day as the battle, to guard against the possibility of a naval assault by the Persians. Details which seem to cast doubt on whether there ever was a Pheidippides, or whether such an epic feat would be required to deliver news of the victory to his countrymen.

In any case, the most likely route from Marathon to Athens was calculated as being approximately 26 miles, and this was the distance which was set as the length of the modern Marathon race. During the early years the exact distance of the race was left with the organisers of each individual Olympics. The modern distance of 26 miles 385 yards only became a standard from the 1924 Olympics onwards, although it was first used during the 1908 London Olympics, on which occasion the extra 385 yards were added to the course to ensure that the finishing line was in front of the Royal Box, in the Great White City Stadium.

I hate the winter, I mean, really hate it! It’s dark, it’s cold & it’s damp- I honestly don’t see very much to like about it at all!
So, with the financial sting of Xmas, and the January tax bill, beginning to become a hazy memory, & no significant drains on my income in the foreseeable, I’ve been cheering myself up with thoughts of where I’d like to head for my Summer Holidays. Yep, it might only be daydreaming at the moment, but it’s a pretty good distraction from the drudge of work and the cold, dark winter days.
Being unsure how my finances are going to be doing come high summer, I’m just throwing some ideas around at the moment, doing some of the research and ground work, so that I have some informed ideas when it comes to decision time. Anyway, I figure I may as well throw my thoughts up here; If nothing else I’ll know where to find my notes when I need them, and there’s always the chance that they may be of use to someone else. *shrug*

So, first up, I’m going to aim my sights pretty low price-wise, and think about grabbing a week or two out in Spain.

It has a number of advantages as a holiday destination for Brits. It’s in Europe, which cuts out any kind of worries about visas or the like. Also, EU countries are part of the “European Health Insurance Card” Scheme; essentially, once you’ve applied for (& received) your free card, you’re entitled to free emergency care throughout the EU, and some other European countries. It’s not a complete replacement for travel insurance, something which might still be worth looking into at a later date, but if you’re travelling on a shoe string, are disorganised, or don’t mind taking a chance, it’s a pretty good safety net to have in place.

Being part of Europe also makes driving a lot less of a hassle, ok, so they drive on the wrong side of the road, but once again, as part of the EU, it’s possible to drive on a full UK licence in Spain. Over all I’d say the way to go is car hire- Spain isn’t renowned for it’s public transport system. I mean I’m sure it would get you where you wanted to go eventually, but I resent my time being wasted by tardy trains at the best of times, & on holiday I’d probably find it frustratingly infuriating.

Another advantage is that, being more or less due south from the UK, it is pretty much the closest country with decent weather. There are also a load of the low cost carriers who fly out to Spain, which should make deals pretty easy to find; being over 6 foot I’m not too keen on the lack of leg space which inevitably comes with a budget flight, but at least it’s not a long flight.
The prevalence of English in the country is also an attraction for me, it’s not that I mind trying to learn other languages, it’s just that I’m woefully bad at it; I’m all for making the effort, but my spoken Spanish breaks down after the most basic greetings and food/beer orders, so it’s nice to have a back up plan.
Having said that I’m not one for expecting countries I visit to totally pander to Brits, and I actually like getting off the beaten tourist track. I’m all for the odd lazy day in the sunshine, but it seems like a waste to spend too much of a foreign holiday basking on the beach; after all there’s all the other sites to see as well, and being a big fan of history it would seem almost criminal to me to go to all the effort of travelling to a foreign country and then not spend a little time taking in some of the culture.

As far as where to go in Spain is concerned I’m really not sure at this stage. Between the Costa Verde and the Pyrenees the north of the country has some beautiful scenery, and is definitely less touristy than a lot of the south, but weather on the Atlantic coastline is always a little more unpredictable than the Mediterranean coast. It is tempting, but good weather is a big draw for me, so I may well go for the south of the country instead.
I’m certain there must be un-touristy places in the south, and I know for a fact that there’s a lot of very interesting history going back to the time of the Moorish kingdom of Al Andalus, & the Reconquista.
If I’m heading to the south then Malaga airport is looking like a pretty good bet, and if that’s the case then getting car hire from Malaga Airport seems to make sense.

As I said at the top, these are all pretty rough ideas at the moment; I’ll have to do some more looking around at some point to narrow down potential locations a little more…

So, with the Christmas craziness over, and fast becoming a feint, alcohol blurred, memory, most of us are struggling with the “dog days” of January, & looking forward to a break from silly spending while the finances recover.
Sadly, life just doesn’t seem to work like that, even for those who don’t have to cope with the impending reality of the end of January tax deadline, the marketing men have no intention of letting us, or our bank balances, rest.
You thought you had ’til at least easter before the next celebration of commericalism? Oh no, that’s still several months away, which wouldn’t do at all, you have to spend your money on something between now and then, don’t you now?

The up and coming event I’m talking about is, of course, St Valentine’s Day. You could say that I’m just an embittered single, and maybe I am, but I can honestly say that, even from within relationships, Valentine’s has always been one of those “holidays” which I think is a little messed up, and which seems to be more about retailers trying to cash in, than about any notions of enduring love, or romance.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m quite a romantic, sentimental soul, under all my cynicism & curmudgeonly complaining, but I fail to see why I need to have a day set aside (be it by society, religion, or the power of marketing) to make a special effort for my beloved.
I’m all for romantic gestures, and showing my other half that I care, but I’m quite capable of doing so at any time of the year, & I rather resent the contrived, non-spontaneous nature of what Valentines day has been warped into by commercialism.
I mean, why limit such shows of affection to one, particular, day a year? Call me old school, but I don’t need a special day to buy posh chocolates or flowers for my girlfriend, & there’s not much better than taking a loved one out for a romantic dinner; going through the ritual of enthusiastically approving of all the outfits and dresses which she decides to try on beforehand, and, in the process, trying to gauge whether she’s wearing any of her “special” lingerie under the outfit. Ahem, flippant thoughts of after-dinner events aside, a romantic meal with one’s significant other is hard to beat, and absolutely shouldn’t be a once a year event, likewise with gifts, Valentines flowers are all very nice, but what about the other 364 days of the year?

I wouldn’t mind it if it was something which hadn’t become compulsory, but surely any holiday about love which actually causes relationship problems, if one doesn’t comply fully with what society expects (& mostly this seems to equate to spending money), has become twisted to the point of losing its meaning. So, if you’re attached you pretty much have to spend out, at what’s a fairly tight time of the year for most people, or else risk the righteous wrath of one’s other half.
On the flip side the holiday also serves to remind singles that they’re single and lonely, and, damn it, can you get any of your friends to go out for a few consoling beers? well, not if they’re attached, obviously!

So there you have it, Valentine’s is a rubbish holiday! If you’re single it’s an uncomfortable reminder of loneliness, while if you’re attached, you’ll find expectations foisted upon you, and you’ll be a bad, bad person if you don’t spend, spend, spend for that special day.
Overall the only winners seem to the negligent types, who are seemingly quite content to get all the year’s romance over and done with in one day, and the vendors of Valentine’s related gifts.