Morts Musings

Given how fundamental an aspect of life internet access apparently is these days, and that we’re approaching a general election, I guess it’s not too surprising that politicians have been talking a lot about it, and in particular their plans for updating the UK’s broadband infrastructure, lately.

There certainly doesn’t seem to be any doubt as to the need to role out 4G mobile access as soon as possible; there are plenty of articles around which are talking about how the popularity of both smart phones and dongles are putting strains on the country’s current mobile broadband capacity! And although deals like being able to get hold of free sims, which themselves allow unlimited free Skype conversations, are absolutely great for consumers looking to save on call charges, it would appear that the popularity of the new technology has wrong footed some providers.

Although it does definitely have its uses, both business and pleasure, mobile broadband is only part of the country’s broadband dilemma, some would say that the establishment of decent high speed internet infrastructure is a bigger and more important challenge for the future, and that’s possibly why we’ve recently seen all the main parties come out with their ideas for how this can be achieved.
This article gives a pretty good overview of the positions of the main parties, and in my opinion is well worth a look if you want to get a quick, at a glance, summary of what each is proposing.
Of course, promises are easily made, and all the more so in the run up to an election, but are not always so easy to deliver on. There’s also the chance that they may suddenly become less urgent in the minds of our political masters once the next Govt is securely in power, and doesn’t have to bother with annoying little details like serving the electorate, or keeping election pledges, but we’ll see.
They certainly all seem to have plenty of ideas of how to skim more money out of us to fund these changes. The Tories would like to take BBC funding to bank roll their super fast broadband plans, while Labour and the Lib Dems are behind the idea of a land line tax, although it seems that the Lib Dems have thought a little more about the equitability of such a levy.
There are also differing approaches as to how to get the more remote areas of the country hooked up with super fast broadband; here the problem is that everyone’s agreed that it’s a good idea but no one really wants to pay for laying the cables.
Personally I’m not sure why the whole country should be clubbing together to pay for people who live in the arse end of nowhere to get a fast internet connection; If it was likely to make a significant impact on the country’s economy I’d understand, but if that were the case it would also likely follow that it would be a viable business move for some comms company to lay the pipes.
As it is, it seems to me that the whole country is going to be left subsidising a few, for no real good reason. Living anywhere has its plusses and negatives, that’s the nature of life; in the countryside you get clean air, beautiful views, less idiots and what would generally be considered a better, and more peaceful, quality of life compared to city dwellers. If people want to live there that’s great, good luck to them (I’m kind of jealous) but they should also accept that their choice to live in such a locale is also going to have downsides, like they might not have such a great internet connection, or may have to pay more to obtain one; I don’t see why that’s such a big deal, & I certainly don’t buy into this ridiculous idea that highspeed internet is now an essential utility, Christ! how soft is this country becoming?

In any case, although all the parties seem dead set on wasting an absolute fortune laying cables to the boondocks, it may be that decent 4G mobile broadband is actually a far more sensible option for the more remote regions of the country; sure it still requires its own infrastructure, and the speed aren’t likely to match the super fast connections which the politicians currently aspire to provide, but it’s surely going to be a hell of a lot cheaper for everyone, and perfectly sufficient for most home use. Ok, so maybe high tech businesses might not be able to operate out of remote areas, but maybe that should just be one of those facts of life, like inner cities not being the best site for a farm, or the Pennines not being such a great place to base a fishing fleet.

I saw this article the other day, and although it’s a few weeks old, and made me think back to all the news articles, which were about this time last year, claiming that there would be a shortage of hire vehicles during the summer season due to the rental companies not being able to afford new vehicles for their fleets.

So, with the news that one of the UK’s largest van hire firms is set to renew 20,000 vans, a third of its fleet, in the expectation that the economy has/will pick up to an extent where the expense is justified, one has to feel that, assuming the money men at Northgate have done their jobs right, this has to be a good sign for the wider economy. Afterall, 20,000 vans are not going to come cheap and, even if the vehicles which are being replaced are so clapped out that they can’t be rented anymore, the implication has to be that the firm thinks it will need a capacity significantly greater than the 40,000 vans which it would have left.

A lot of Northgate’s business traditionally comes from businesses in construction and manufacturing, as opposed to private customers, so the firm’s commitment to renew their fleet strongly suggests that they have confidence in these sectors to flourish over the next twelve months, and if that’s the case then that would certainly be a good sign for the wider economy; particularly when one considers that the construction industry was one of the areas hit hardest by the recession, and the resulting crash in house prices.

Only time will tell whether or not it’s an astute move which will leave them well placed to profit from any recovery we see this year, but they’re by no means the only company to demonstrate optimism over the economy’s near future, and quite often the economy seems to function as much according to expectations as because of any real monetary factors, so, although my tendancy is to be wary, overall I’m thinking that the signs for recovery are looking hopeful.

It’s probably old news for many, but I’ve just found out about the Ig Noble Prizes, and as a geek, both flippant & scientific, I have to say I think it’s a bloody marvellous idea!

The prizes are awarded, each year, by Improbable Research an organisation whose purpose is to highlight scientific “research that makes people laugh and then think”. They operate year round, bringing news of off the wall science to the masses (well, ok, maybe just masses of geeks,) but their big event each year is the Ig Noble prizes, where prizes are given out in a range of categories, much like the real Noble prizes.

The 2010 prizes aren’t due to be awarded until the end of September, but some of the highlights from the 2009 roll of honour include:
VETERINARY MEDICINE PRIZE: to the researchers who discovered that named cows produce more milk than unnamed animals.
CHEMISTRY PRIZE: to the team who synthesised diamonds from tequilla. (I knew there had to be some use for the vile stuff!)
MEDICINE PRIZE: to the man who cracked the knuckles on just one of his hands every day, for 50 years! in order to demonstrate that the activity doesn’t cause arthritis.
LITERATURE PRIZE: to the Irish Police, for issuing over 50 speeding tickets to one “Prawo Jazdy”, a Polish phrase meaning “Driving License”.

My favourite from last years awards has to be the winner of the “Public Health Prize” though. Elena N. Bodnar and her team received the award for inventing a bra which can be converted into a gas mask, or to be exact, a pair of gas masks.

Really, I’m not making this up, SEE -even the BBC reported it!

I guess the idea is that most woman wear bras most of the time, which I suppose means that the “life saving” lingerie is always likely to be available, should the need arise, &, even better, each woman in the area of the attack would be able to offer a hand (or should that be cup?) to someone less well prepared.

My mother used to tell me to change my pants in case I got hit by a bus, which always struck me as odd since I imagine that, even if the pants were clean that morning, the no doubt frightening ordeal of being hit by a large, heavy vehicle would ensure that they were no longer clean by the time the paramedics arrived.
In the future are young woman going to have their mothers telling them to make sure their underwear is clean? Just in case there’s a gas attack and they’re forced to share half their bra with a stranger -imagine the embarrasment of having to offer a stranger a slightly soiled bra-come-gas mask! never mind that they may be more concerned by life threatening gas, or somewhat distracted by the spectacle of women around them frantically removing their tops!
In fact it might end up making gas attacks a somewhat salacious affair, which I suppose, in it’s own right, might not be a bad deterrent to the evil doers of this world, or at least those who hold strong views about women showing as little skin as possible.

I also wonder if this lingerie-lifeline is merely the tip of the iceberg, in future are we to be treated to a whole range of everyday items which double as emergency equipment? Maybe household furniture which can be quickly converted into a nuclear bunker? (scarily not so far from official govt advice, during the cold war era, as to how the public should protect themselves in the event of the 4 minute warning sounding.) Or perhaps M&S will start stocking little black party dresses which, in the event of a terror attack, quickly convert into a full NBC suit?